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Competitive Conundrum


So you want to do a bodybuilding competition? Let’s get it! The competitor’s season is upon us! We are weeks out from the first competition in the Dayton area. Here is a typical—wait.

NO DAY IS TYPICAL IN COMPETITION PREP! Do you really want do do this? How badly?

Here is a snapshot of what a day could possibly look like for a competitor. This is a fictional account, but it is based on both personal experiences and the experience of friends. It is meant neither to discourage nor glorify being a bikini competitor, simply to give one view to the possibility of beautiful chaos you invite into your life when your body becomes your canvas. No one prep experience is the same from one competitor to the next! However, this is my fictional stream of consciousness in one day that you could very well see…

Day 80/112
3:15am – Thank you God for another day. How many weeks out am I… four? Five? Craaaap. Glad I made coffee and my gym bag last night… I’m beat. Everything from the waist down is sore from leg day but time to get it crackin’…
4am – Glad no one is on my machine today… was almost late to work yesterday. Time to kick some fasted cardio ass.
4:15am – My butt hurts. And I’m hungry.
4:55am – *Limps away from cardio area into the locker room. Inhales Meal one. Takes fastest shower ever*
5:55am – *clocks in, replies to coworker’s concern* “No, I’m not sick. Just tired…. I’ll slow down in a few weeks. Sleep? Haha what’s that?” I’m hungry.
8am – *inhales meal two… remembers the days of eating breakfast. Chuckles* Heh. Meal two.
11am – “what do you mean I eat weird? It’s just food…” *inhales meal three, ignoring coworkers eating McRib sandwiches and cold fries and discussing how nasty the goal oriented Tupperware contents look.* Too tired to listen anyway.
2pm – “ I HAVE TO STAY INTO THE NEXT SHIFT?!” I swear when it rains it pours…. “Can I take a fifteen minute break?” *goes to break room and opens the window to eat Meal Four… tilapia. Contemplates using water gallon to complete arm day, but it’s already two thirds of the way empty.*
5:17pm – Thank goodness they found someone to cover! Let me hurry up and go get this pump…
5:45pm – My butt hurts. And now my triceps hurt. And I’m hungry. Crap… I forgot to eat… my gains…
6pm- *for the 56th time this prep, some random man comes up to warn of the dangers of heavy lifting for women and its horrible Incredible Hulk effects on the woman’s physique. Gives death glare. Picks up heavier weight. Grunts with each lift*
6:30pm – *inhales meal five. Puts on clear heals. Hikes up tank top. Rolls yoga pants down. Practices posing in front of the mirror* Yuuuup keeeep staring. You’ve been seeing this for months now… nothing new here. I wish I had a bigger mirror at home. If you had to get up in front of people in basically your underwear you would want to practice standing in the most flattering way possible, too…
6:57pm – *on the phone with a good friend* “if I come out you know all I’m going to do is drink water and nod off… not tonight… soon! At least when I’m off from work? … I miss you, too…”
7pm – Round two… fight! I want hardware… I want hardware… I want hardware… I can do this…. I hate cardio…
7:45pm – Time for that Kroger re-up. Where’s the fish counter in this one again…?
8:45pm – home FINALLY! Food. Put in fridge. Tupperware. In dishwasher. Gotta cook for the next few days…
10:45pm –Ha! I almost busted my head! Let me just sit down to take off my shoes this time…
Day 81/112
2:55 am –SERIOUSLY?! And I forgot to eat my last meal… Well… thanks for another day, G. Craaap. My everything hurts. But going empty handed will hurt worse. Might as well get it crackin’…

Portia Alves

Portia is personal trainer, group fitness instructor, NPC bikini competitor and nutrition nerd:) Find her classes and personal training at the Mabry Muscle Machine Presents: The Machine Shop, Greater Dayton Recreation Center, and more!

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